Hallelujah
by april elaine
Summary: When the absolutely unthinkable happens, Jackie Burkheart finds her world to be falling apart once more. Despite her reluctance, she finds herself leaning on the Formans for help- even Eric. (Character death revealed right in the first chapter, I am sorry.)
1. Chapter 1

Steven Hyde wasn't supposed to die until he was elderly and frail.

He wasn't supposed to drunkenly drive his car into a tree and die at the age of 21.

And he especially wasn't supposed to do so just a few short hours after hearing the words " _Steven… I'm pregnant."_

But that's how his life came to end. One bad decision, a few seconds. The doctor had assured Mrs. Forman that he had to have died on impact, feeling no pain, as if him not feeling any pain would somehow lessen the loss.

Jackie was glad that he hadn't felt any pain, but she wondered if he had noticed that he lost control of the vehicle long enough before the crash that he had any idea of what was about to happen. Did he know he was going to die? Was he too drunk to comprehend it or care? Did he think about her, or the baby growing inside of her?

 _Their_ baby.

She wasn't going to tell anyone. She was just five weeks pregnant when Steven died, nowhere even close to being visibly pregnant, so she planned on sticking around for the funeral, despite everyone who knew her and Steven assuming that they still hated each other. And honestly, maybe they did still hate each other a little bit. Or, maybe she still hated him.

" _I never hated you, Jacks,"_ he had told her that one night, and part of her had wanted to ask him well then why had he gone and married a stripper, but Steven was kissing her neck, and she decided that she had missed _that_ more than rehashing the same argument they had been fighting for months.

But she loved him, as much and if not more than she hated him.

The wake was at the Formans' house, and Jackie did her best to just stick to the back corner of the living room. She had a part to play, and as much as she wanted to scream and cry and run out, she knew that she couldn't. Because everyone thought that she either hated Steven, or had completely moved on and was indifferent toward him. She couldn't breakdown and solicit sympathy, because she couldn't risk becoming so distraught that she might accidentally tell someone of her "little predicament."

Because after the funeral, she had planned on leaving town and _never_ coming back.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, and expected it to be Fez, her now ex-boyfriend, who had been able to put his hurt feelings over her cheating on him with Steven aside to be there for her in the past week. He had told her that he wasn't too heartbroken over losing her because he knew that she was never fully his to begin with. She sat next to him at the funeral service, squeezing his hand the whole way through. He didn't know that she was pregnant, but he was the only one who understood that she was still in love with the friend they were being forced to bury. Or at least, she though he was the only one.

"How are you holding up, loud one?"

"Mr. Forman," she said, jumping a little bit in surprise," I'm doing okay, I guess. I miss him. Steven was… a good friend," she smiled tightly, willing the tears beginning to well up in her eyes to not spill over onto her cheeks.

"For what it's worth, you made him as happy as I've seen him, Jackie. And I know he was a dumbass to you at times, and especially these last couple of months, but you were special to him. And I know that he was special to you."

"Wow, I-I… uh, thank you, Mr. Forman. I really l-loved him," she sniffled, trying to keep herself from completely falling apart. A few tears? Fine. But she had promised herself she wouldn't turn into a sobbing mess. She had a role to play.

"I know, Jackie. As much as I bitched about taking him in, that boy was like a son to me. And I just wanted to thank you for playing such an important role in my son's life."

Jackie could hear a telling thickness in Red's voice, and had to take a deep breath. She knew the Forman's had cared deeply for Steven, but hearing Red refer to him as his son made her already bleeding heart all the more raw.

And then a horrifying thought occurred to her.

 _I'm moving to California and Red and Kitty will never meet their grandchild, let alone even know that he or she exists._

She almost cracked, almost took Red's hand and led him out of the crowded living room to have a private talk with him, but then she remembered. She had her reasons.

 _I have to go. Steven's the only one who ever really loved me, here. And they'll blame me once they find out the role I played in Steven's last night._

"Jackie?"

"I- uh, you're welcome, Mr. Forman. It was my pleasure," she assured him, cringing at the sound of her own voice cracking.

Never one to willingly comfort any crying person other than his own wife, Red sensed that it was time to leave before he accidentally drove the tiny brunette to full on tears. He put an arm around her shoulders in a tight half-hug, gave her a good squeeze, and began to walk away.

"Oh, and Jackie?" he called from a few feet away.

"Yes, Mr. Forman?"

"I don't care what my twitchy idiot of a son says, you're always welcome here. If you ever need anything, please let Kitty and I know, okay?"

"I will," she lied, smiling before turning away to try and find Fez.

"Oh sorry," she mumbled, accidentally bumping into another woman.

"Jackie?"

"Brooke?"

"Yeah, it's me. I know we haven't seen each other in a while. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. I didn't know you were coming."

"He was the godfather of my child," she said quietly.

"I just meant-

"That he and I weren't really close? I know. But I did admire him in a couple of ways. I wouldn't have let Michael name him as Betsy's godfather if I didn't. I do feel a little out of place here, though."

"Me too," Jackie mumbled.

"What? You were his… I take it things didn't end well?"

"Michael didn't tell you that he married a stripper?"

"He did, but you two… I always thought you'd end up together and… Jesus, I'm being so insensitive. I'm so sorry, Jackie. I don't mean to make this any harder for you than it must already be."

"It's okay. It's… hard to know what to say to his ex-girlfriend. I get that," she said diplomatically.

"Well, I _am_ sorry for your loss, Jackie. He was a good guy."

"Yeah," Jackie laughed, with water in her eyes, "He was a good guy. With some jackass tendencies, but don't they all?"

"Yeah, they all kind of do, don't they? Well anyways," Brooke said, lifting her drink, "To Steven."

Jackie just lifted her hand to fist bump Brooke's beer.

"Oh, can I get you something to drink?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm not drinking."

"You're not pregnant, are you?" Brooke asked playfully, her tone of voice letting Jackie know that she was 100% joking.

And Jackie knew that she shouldn't tell Brooke, of all people. They hardly knew each other, despite Jackie being the godmother of Brooke's daughter. But Brooke understood what it was like to be young and accidentally pregnant. After all, wasn't Brooke Jackie's age, just two years out of high school, when she found out she was pregnant with Michael's child?

Red's voice referring to Steven as his son kept ringing in her ears.

Could she really do this, run away and have a baby on her own, and deprive Steven's friends and family of getting to know the child he had left behind.

"Brooke, can we go somewhere private?"

"What- oh my god? Are you… yeah, follow me. Let's go outside."

Brooke took Jackie's hand and led her out the backdoor of the house. The Forman's yard was unsurprisingly full of people coming to share their condolences, but the Pinciotti's back yard was empty. Jackie didn't feel too bad about trespassing, considering she did use to live there.

"Jackie, are you actually pregnant?" she asked quietly. No one was perceivably in ear shot, but she still wanted to be careful, knowing firsthand the sensitivity of an accidental pregnancy.

"Yes," Jackie whispered, staring at the ground.

"How far along are you?"

"About six weeks."

"Okay, you know what my next question for you is going to be."

"It's Steven's."

"Oh my god… how did this… are you sure?"

"I was with Fez at the time, and I cheated on him. And yes, I'm sure it's his baby. I wasn't sleeping with anyone else at the time, not even my boyfriend."

"Did Hyde know?"

"No," she lied, not wanting to get into the last night of her love's life for fear of becoming hysterical.

"Jackie, I am so, so sorry. And anything I can do for you, I'm going to do for you, okay? And I'm not just saying that, I promise."

"Thank you, Brooke," she murmured, still staring at Bob Pinciotti's impressive lawn.

"Can I ask you something that might upset you? I don't mean to offend you, I just want to make sure you know that you have options."

"I thought about abortion," Jackie said, knowing what Brooke was getting at, "and I mean, I really thought about it. I don't think it's murder and I don't judge other women who choose it because god, I get it now. I really do. But I just… can't. This is Steven's only chance to have kids and I can't give up this part of him, either."

"Okay, that's fair. I wasn't trying to convince you to do anything that you didn't want to do, but knowing that I had a choice when I found out I was pregnant with Betsy was really empowering. Does anyone know besides me?"

"Nope."

"Oh, Jackie. You don't have to go through this alone. I bet everyone in that house would be willing to help you."

"I know that."

"Then why…?"

"Because they love Steven. But most of them don't love me, let alone even like me. I don't want to stick around and be barely tolerated for the rest of my life just because they love my child's father?"

"Stick around? Jackie, you're not thinking of leaving town are you?"

"You can't tell anyone."

"Jackie! You can't just leave!"

"You did!"

"Yeah, to be with my mother because she was my support system. And you're going to need your support system, too. Those people love you, even if a handful of them are too stubborn to admit it. They're going to want to help _you_ , and not just your kid."

"You don't know that. You don't know them like I did, Brooke. I spent most of my years in that basement either barely tolerated as Michael's accessory, or slightly more tolerated as Steven's girlfriend. And Fez only liked having me around because he's been trying to get into my pants this whole time. And Mr. and Mrs. Forman just felt bad for me because I was an orphan for a little while."

"Jackie, those people care about you. Maybe they don't show it very openly, but Michael asked me to check on you today and now I'm very glad that I did. And Eric asked me to keep an eye on how much you had to drink, which turned out to be unnecessary considering you're pregnant, but it was a very sweet gesture!"

"Okay, maybe Michael still cares a little bit but I was his first girlfriend so it's probably out of guilt. And Eric just didn't want me getting drunk and making a scene."

"Jackie, these people love you. You can't just leave!"

"Leave? Oh no, Ms. Burkheart, you are _not_ leaving me. Where do you think you're going, young lady?"

"I'll leave you two to talk," Brooke said meaningful, sending her best _you better fucking tell her_ dagger eyes at Jackie.

"Mrs. Forman, I was just talking about leaving the wake. I'm tired, it's been a long day and-

"Oh, don't even try. Brooke wouldn't have been that upset if you were just going home for the day. God, you kids are always trying to leave. What are you planning on, going off to Africa like Eric did? Well, you can't! Everything's changing and we've lost Steven and you are not going anywhere! I just came back here to try and find Bob and I run into you apparently about to make a break for it. Sit your ass down and start talking, young lady!"

"Mrs. Forman," Jackie started, her voice shaking, "Mr. Forman told me that if I ever needed anything that I could come to you two. And right now, I really, really need your help."

Kitty quickly sat down next to the now crying young woman and put an arm around her, her anger quickly dissipating.

"What is it, Jackie? What's wrong? You can tell me."

"You know how Fez and I broke up a few weeks ago?"

"Yes, and thank God for that. I mean, I'm sorry, that must have been difficult for the both of you."

"Do you know _why_ we broke up?"

"He didn't want to take you to the mall one day?"

"No, no Mrs. Forman, we broke up because… I cheated on him. With Steven."

"Were you and Steven back together?" Kitty asked quietly, reaching out to hold Jackie's hand.

"No, but umm… Mrs. Forman I need to tell you something, and I really need you to please try and not get mad at me."

"You can tell me anything, Jackie. It's okay."

"I-I'm pregnant. It's Steven's baby. I'm sure."

"You mean… you're…. are you sure that you're pregnant? Absolutely sure?"

"Yes, I went to the doctor's. I'm pregnant."

"How far along are you?"

"Six weeks."

Kitty was silent for a long moment, and Jackie felt like she couldn't breathe. What if she was angry that she hadn't told her away? Or angry that she had been planning on leaving town without telling her that Steven Hyde was going to be survived by a child?

"Jackie, I want you to move in with us."

"What? You don't have to-

"We are going to take care of you. We are going to do everything that we can for you and this baby, okay? Steven was family, and so are you. I don't care about all the bullshit that happened between you two this past year, you are family. And I want you to stay with us."

"Mrs. Forman, I can't possibly-

"Your mom isn't going to be of any help, your dad is in jail, and Steven… well, he's not here to help you anymore."

"I-I can do this on my own."

"But you don't have to. And as a member of your family I am not going to let you. Do you understand me, young lady?"

"Mrs. Forman, you can't just order me to live with you. And what about Mr. Forman? He's not going to want to take another person in. And what about Eric? He's back now, and he hates me."

"First of all, Eric doesn't hate you. Second of all, Red isn't going to want the mother of his grandchild off on her own in whatever town she was planning on running away to. And third of all, it's either you stay with us and have our support until you can afford to live on your own with your baby, you stay living in your ex-boyfriend's apartment and raise the child that was conceived by you cheating on him together, or you could go on and leave town and be pregnant and struggling without anyone to lend you a hand. Now Jackie, I know you have your pride, but isn't one of those options clearly better than the others?"

"I need to think it over," Jackie sighs, knowing that the older woman has a point, but not wanting to rush into living with the Forman's until she gave it some more thought.

"Fair enough. But if I find out that you left town before you and I have another chance to chat, there will be hell to pay, young lady!"

"I won't leave without talking to you, I promise," she said sincerely.

"Good, now come back into the house with me. You probably haven't eaten much today and there will be no pregnant women starving on my watch!"

"Okay, but no mentioning that I'm pregnant to anyone, alright?"

"What about Red?"

"Fine," she conceded, knowing that Kitty is going to tell her husband no matter what, so she might as well give her blessing on it.

"And if, I mean _when_ you start living with us, and you're not ready to tell Eric yet we'll just tell him that Fez was always hogging all the hot water at your apartment or something."

"Yep, I'm sure he'll buy that," she rolled her eyes.

"It's… It's lonely around here without… he'll be happy to have a friend living here."

 _Yeah, because Eric totally considers me a friend_ , she thought bitterly, but she knew Kitty's heart had already been torn to shreds as she had essentially lost a child last week, so she wasn't about to give the woman anything else to worry about.

Besides, her and Eric could find a way to coexist peacefully… right? 


	2. Chapter 2

It's not the first time Jackie has stayed in Laurie Forman's room.

When the Formans had caught her staying with Steven in the basement after her mother had abandoned her, she had spent that night in the older Forman sibling's room. She remembered scowling as she laid down in the other woman's bed, thinking about how many times Michael had probably cheated on her in it, and wishing Red and Kitty would have just let her stay with Steven in his cot.

But now she couldn't even bring herself to set foot in the basement she had grown to love over the past years, let alone sleep in it without Steven there, so the room where her heart had once been stomped on was preferable to the place where she once felt at home and safe.

The thought made her want to puke, or maybe that was the tiny being growing inside of her. She had a hard time telling the symptoms of pregnancy and the physical ramifications of grief apart lately.

"Not now, please" she groaned, laying a hand on her still perfectly toned stomach, willing it to settle. Laurie's room, which she guessed was now her own, and Eric's room were connected by a shared bathroom. She wasn't thrilled about sharing a bathroom with the scrawny boy for several reasons, one of them being that if she were to throw up in the middle of night it would surely wake him up. (Jackie figured that he might also be lying awake, unable to sleep like her, as well, but she still didn't like the idea of anyone hearing her puke, especially Eric.)

Besides, she'd have to come up with an excuse for why she was sick if she did wake him up, considering he had no idea why she was staying with his family in the first place.

His parents had both fed him some flimsy excuse about Fez and Jackie needing space from each other to grieve, but Jackie knew that a guy with a wit as quick as Eric's had to have seen through it.

Still, he didn't question her, burn her, or even put up a fight. Eric _hated_ her, and her moving in with him had to be his worst nightmare. But he didn't say anything or react in the slightest. He just let it happen, and quietly helped her move her stuff into his sister's room.

Not that she enjoyed Eric insulting her (though she did frequently enjoy insulting him), but it was unnerving to see him so passive over what should have infuriated him. He was grieving, shattered, and torn as they all were, and as much as they had had their endless differences, it still hurt her to see such a hollowed out version of her frenemy.

Sighing, she realized that perhaps their only common grown was their love of the boy who they had lost.

 _This isn't happening. This isn't happening. This is all just a bad dream_ , she thought to herself, knowing she was just trying to fool herself but desperately wishing that for just one short moment that she could believe it.

She closed her eyes and tried to imagine that Steven had made it home safely that night. That he had called Eric or Fez or even herself for a ride home. Sure, she would have been pissed off that he just took off and gotten himself hammered after she told him that she was pregnant, but she would have gotten over it eventually. It was certainly preferable to him crashing himself into a fucking tree and leaving her and their kid behind to fend for themselves.

Steven wasn't the only one of their dumbass friends who had ever driven drunk, but he was the only one who had paid the price for it. God, they all thought they were invincible, and were constantly making risky decisions, and up until now, no one had ever really gotten hurt. There were nights they drove drunk or stoned, falls from the water tower, a near deportation on Fez's end, and never-ending assumptions that no matter what they did, they somehow would all end up okay.

Until Steven had died, the most trouble any of them had ever gotten themselves into was Betsy's conception, and Michael had grown into a fine father with time.

But now Steven was gone, and there were no take backs, no do overs, no course corrections. He was just gone. Forever.

No amount of begging, screaming, or pretending could ever bring him back.

Her stomach churned and she rushed into her and Eric's shared bathroom just in time to be sick.

She cried as she heaved, wanting it to just be over with. Her sickness was just another reminder that she was having a dead man's baby, and that the love of her life was gone.

"Jackie? You okay in there?"

"Go away."

"Uh, I can't. The bathroom is connected to my room, too, remember?"

She wanted to tell him to just go downstairs and leave her alone until she was finished in there, but she was cut off by the need to retch once more.

"Oh god, eww. Okay, uh, do you need me to go get my mom or something?"

"No," she managed to choke out, "I'm fine."

She expected a snappy come back about how she didn't sound fine, or if she was actually fine she wouldn't be keeping him awake with the sound of her vomiting, but instead there was silence. Maybe he had gotten the cue to go watch tv in the living room or otherwise keep himself busy until she felt okay enough to try and sleep, or maybe he had left because he was squeamish. Either way, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was already miserable, and dealing with Eric wasn't going to help.

A few seconds later, though, she realized that he hadn't left. She heard him sigh and mumble something unintelligible to himself, and then she heard the door opening behind her.

She was too busy puking to tell him to go away, so when she felt him gently tugging on her hair that she had been halfway holding out of her face herself, she reluctantly let go and let him hold it back for her. Besides, if he wasn't going to leave her alone, he might as well make himself useful.

"Why are you in here?" she moaned when she had half a second to breathe.

"Well, I figured if I have to be awake at 3 am listening to my new roommate being violently sick, I should probably at least go and make sure she's alright."

"I'm _fine_ ," she said, trying to sound forceful and failing. She was tired and weak and just sounded pathetic.

"Yep, and that's definitely why you're throwing up in our bathroom in the middle of the night."

 _Ah, there's the smart mouthed Eric I know and begrudgingly tolerate_.

"Why won't it stop?" she panted.

"Maybe because you're the devil?"

"If you're going to be a jerk then just get out."

"Sorry," he said quietly, tentatively patting her back with the hand that wasn't holding her hair, "I'm just so used to burning you. But you're not having a good time right now, so I guess I could be a little nice."

"Whatever," she mumbled, before bursting into tears again, because even that _word_ reminded her of Steven.

"Hey, don't cry, okay? I'm sorry."

She thought about telling him that it wasn't him that made her cry, it was just that she couldn't stop thinking about their dead friend, but her and Eric didn't talk about heavy stuff or their feelings together, so she just shrugged in another Steven-esque response and then wiped at her eyes.

After a few moments of near unbearably awkward silence, she relaxed a little and pulled back from the toilet.

"All done?"

"Think so," she replied softly, leaning against the bathroom wall and closing her eyes. God, she was exhuasted.

She heard the toilet flush, and then reluctantly opened her eyes at the feeling of a hand on her shoulder.

"Jackie, what brought that on? Are you sure you don't need me to go get my mom?"

"No, let her sleep. It's probably just a stomach bug," she lied.

"Ah. That means I'll probably be sick within the next day or two, so thanks for that, devil."

"You're welcome," she said bitterly, knowing that Eric didn't have anything to worry about.

"Well, since you've already disrupted my slumber, can I get you anything?"

She sighed and looked up at Eric who was crouched down in front of her. From the looks of the bags under his eyes, he hadn't actually been sleeping, but she wasn't in the mood to call him out on it. He looked at her expectantly, and then she remembered that he had asked her a question. She hated to ask people for help. Ordering people around? She loved that. But letting people give her a hand when she was vulnerable, not so much. But her head was spinning ever so slightly and she _was_ thirsty and Eric had already sat with her while she was puking that night, so what was the harm in asking for a little more help?

"Water?"

"You got it, devil. I'll be right back."

She heard Eric hopping down the stairs, presumably to get a glass, and had to will herself to keep her eyes open. She was dangerously close to falling asleep on the bathroom floor with Eric came back and filled up the glass with water at the sink.

"Here ya go."

"Thank you."

"You're thanking me? You must be sick," he joked, but it was devoid of the edge it should have had. She knew that Eric was absolutely broken inside from Steven's death and wouldn't be himself for a long time, but she hated to see him so reserved. Hell, he was being gentle with her. With HER. Jackie Burkheart. Two weeks ago if she was sick he probably would have just laughed at her. (And then probably would've gotten Fez or Donna to check on her because despite his animosity toward her he was a much better person than her, but he still would have laughed first.)

"Shut up," she whispered, taking a hesitant sip from her glass. She was parched, but didn't want to get sick again. Especially not with Eric still in the room.

"Feel any better?" he asked awkwardly, and she could tell he was just trying to make conversation. She was surprised that he was still sitting with her, let alone trying to talk to her.

She supposed that if he couldn't sleep either, taking care of a sick girl, even one that he hated, was preferable to staring at the ceiling, mind reeling with grief. If he was dealing with the same miserable, heart wrenching insomnia she was, she could understand wanting a distraction, even an unpleasant one.

At least looking after her gave him something to think about other than the gaping absence in his life.

"Yeah," she said honestly, her stomach having calmed down for the most part.

She continued drinking her water as her and Eric settled back into silence. Despite her better judgment, she let her droopy eyelids close and was just about to drift off to sleep when-

"Jackie, you can't sleep here."

"Don't tell me what to do," she mumbled sleepily, keeping her eyes close.

"Jackie," he said wearily, and she could practically hear him rolling his eyes, "your bed is like twenty feet away. Come on, I'll help you up."

"Fine," she said as if she was doing Eric a huge favor, and put her hands in his, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

She got a little dizzy for a second upon standing, and her slight swaying did not go unnoticed by Eric.

"You okay?" he asked, putting his hands on her shoulders to steady her.

"I'm great," she grumbled sarcastically, earning a halfhearted laugh from her roommate.

"Come on," Eric said, gently pushing her toward her new bedroom.

She sat down on her bed, feeling awkward about settling down and lying in it in front of Eric. What was he going to do, tuck her in and turn out the light?

"Goodnight, Eric. Thanks for saving my hair," she said, cueing him to leave.

"You're welcome. I had nothing better to do. Goodnight, Jackie."

He turned to leave the room, and stopped just short of the door.

"If you need anything come get me, okay?"

It seemed as if it pained him to offer her his help, but he still seemed sincere. It was weird, but it didn't shock her. Eric was a nice enough guy to offer assistance to people whose presence he didn't exactly enjoy, albeit reluctantly.

And maybe, in a way, he was trying to do right by Steven by looking out for her.

"I will," she said, not sure if she meant it.

"Okay. Goodnight, devil. Try not to wake me up again with your puking."

"I'll try not to," she rolled her eyes, breathing out a sigh of relief when she heard the door click shut. It was nice of Eric to sit with her in the bathroom, but being nice to each other still didn't feel right. She had no idea how to act around him since he had gotten back from Africa, and especially not since…

Their world had been torn apart.

They were never really friends. Why start now?

Besides, he probably just felt bad, and like he said, he had nothing better to do.

Her eyes welled up with tears once more. Even with all the misery he had put her through in the past year, Steven was probably the one true human connection that she had left. She loved Mr. and Mrs. Forman, but they were old. They weren't exactly going to be her best friends in the way that Donna was before she left for college. And while Fez was forgiving of her cheating on him, she didn't know if their friendship would ever fully be able to bounce back from their brief, doomed foray into romance.

Michael was in Chicago with Brooke and Betsy, her dad was in jail, and her mother really didn't care about her all that much.

And Steven, well, he was gone.

She had never felt more alone in her life.


	3. Chapter 3

She didn't have to tell Eric.

He figured out the truth, or at least, part of the truth, about a week and a half into her stay with the Formans.

She supposed it was only a matter of time, considering the fact that other than Steven and maybe Donna, Eric was the smartest person she knew.

When she kept refusing the I'm-just-trying-to-be-civil beers that Eric would occasionally offer her, and when her "stomach bug" continued off and on for over a week, what other conclusion was he going to come to?

She was sitting on Laurie's bed (it still didn't feel like hers) when he came storming into the room.

"You know, I knew you were selfish, but this is a new low, even for you."

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, even though she had a fairly good idea of what he was talking about.

"Fez got you pregnant and you two broke up, boo who! You couldn't have found somewhere else to stay considering, I don't know, the fact that my parents just lost a child?"

"Eric-

"You need to get over yourself. God, you are such a child, Jackie! You knew that my mom was too nice to say no and you took advantage of her in her time of grief, didn't you?"

"She asked me to stay here," she said evenly, doing her best to stay calm despite the anger and hurt bubbling inside of her.

 _Eric doesn't know. He's grieving. Don't take it personally._

"Oh did she now? Well that makes it all better! Listen Jackie, I don't care about you or your drama and I never have. I should have never let you back into the basement after you Kelso and broke up, because it would have saved us all a lot of trouble. All you ever did was make Kelso miserable, and then make Hyde miserable, and now you've gone and gotten Fez miserable and stuck with you for the next eighteen years. What's next, are you going to put the moves on me?"

"Eric, you don't understand," she growled, tears starting to prick at her eyes.

This wasn't Eric. The dislike of her, well, _that_ was Eric. But this ruthless yelling at her, tearing her apart? That wasn't the scrawny, kind boy she grew up. She was trying to just let him get it all out and let him destroy her as an outlet for his pent-up grief, but he had hit a nerve.

Eric's words hit her saliently because maybe she believed them.

He hadn't outright called her a slut, but she could hear the insinuation.

And maybe that's what she thought of herself, too.

Maybe she laid awake at night, blaming herself for Steven's death, because if she had just been able to stay faithful to her boyfriend at the time, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant and Steven wouldn't have drove himself into a tree.

Maybe.

"What don't I understand? That you're a selfish, manipulative, childish excuse for a human being who throws a hissy fit whenever she doesn't get what she wants? Because I sure as hell understand that! You're pregnant. So what? Deal with it and stop making it my family's problem, because in case you haven't noticed, we're going through some _real_ problems right now!"

"Eric-

"God, did Hyde ever mean anything to you at all? Were you just trying to get back at Kelso? Because now Hyde's gone and all you care about is yourself."

"It's Steven's."

"What?"

"The baby, Eric," she choked out through tears, "the baby isn't Fez's. It's Steven's."

She watched the blood drain right out of his face and thought he might pass out right then and there.

"What?" he asked again, this time weak and devoid of malice.

"I was dating Fez and I slept with Steven, so you're right, I'm a slut. I'm just a dirty little slut who's managed to ruin everyone's lives again and again. I know that I just need to leave you and your family alone, but your parents found out that I was pregnant and with Steven's baby and insisted that I stay here. I'm sorry, okay? You're right, all I've ever done is cause you and the rest of our friends pain and it's my fault that Steven's gone! The night he crashed into that tree was the night that I told him that I was pregnant!"

"Jackie," Eric whispered, walking toward her on the bed.

"No, just save it! You've said more than enough. You hate me and I don't want you to start being nice because you feel sorry for me."

"Jackie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean-

"Get out."

"Jackie-

"Out!"

"No," he said definitively, and Jackie's eyes widened in shock. She had never heard him speak to her or to anyone else with that much force in his voice before.

"You hate me and I hate you, so why won't you just leave me the hell alone?"

"Because I don't hate you."

"Why not? You hated me about two minutes ago. But now that you know I'm carrying a dead man's baby you feel bad for me?"

She saw him flinch at the words "dead man" and almost felt bad for being so crude. Almost.

After all, it was the truth.

"I don't think you're a slut," he said quietly, "and I don't think that you made Kelso or Hyde miserable. Well, maybe Kelso a little bit, but he cheated on you all the time so it was only fair. I think that you made Hyde as happy as I've ever seen him, even if he might not have admitted it. I said all that horrible stuff to you because I didn't know the truth and I thought you were taking advantage of my parents and I just got so angry at you."

He looked at her carefully for a short moment, sighing when he saw the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"And I also said all of that because I really, really miss Hyde. And I shouldn't have taken that out on you and I'm sorry."

"I-I miss him, too," she sobbed, hating that she was showing so much raw emotion in front of Eric, especially since he had just verbally torn her to shreds, but was unable to stop the pain and despair from bursting through her.

"God, I know you do, Jackie. I know you do, I promise."

Jackie was sobbing in front of him, crying so hard that he actually was afraid she might hurt herself, and he wasn't sure what to do. His first inclination was to try and hug her, but he wasn't sure if she would let him touch her.

He moved closer to her and tentatively put an arm around her shoulders, and when she leaned into him instead of pushing him away, he wrapped his other arm around her, pulling her into his chest.

"You didn't kill him," he said quietly.

He felt her shake her head against his chest and his stomach dropped. Jackie had never been his favorite person in the world, but she was in an unimaginable situation and he didn't want her making it worse on herself by blaming herself for something that wasn't her fault.

"Jackie, he was the one who went out and got hammered and decided to drive. Maybe you telling him that you were pregnant set him off, but he's still the one who made the choices that he did. And what were you supposed to do? Never tell him?"

"I-I'm so mad at him," she sniffled, feeling a little uncomfortable in Eric's arms, but desperately needing to be held.

"I am, too."

Eric didn't say anything else for a while, waiting for Jackie to more or less cry herself out and calm down before they continued their conversation.

He had felt bad for Jackie before, sure. When Kelso cheated on her with his sister? He felt bad. When her father was sent to jail and her mom abandoned her? He felt bad. When his mother told him that Hyde had went off and married a stripper? He felt bad for her.

But nothing compared to the way he felt about the raven-haired girl quaking in his arms because the man she loved wasn't going to be around to love her anymore, and he had left her as a single mother, too.

Eric didn't really believe in heaven or in departed souls being able to watch over their loved ones from up above, but there was a part of him that wondered if Hyde was aware that he had died, and if he had any cognizance of the mess he had left behind.

Hyde had (rightfully) never been able to forgive his (step) father for walking out on his mom and his kid, leaving him to grow up without a father.

Eric wondered if Hyde would ever be able to forgive himself for doing the same thing to Jackie and their son or daughter.

(If Hyde's spirit still existed or whatever it was that his mother believed.)

"I'm going to help you however I can, okay?"

"You don't have to. You don't owe me anything," Jackie murmured, her sobs having turned into quiet sniffles.

"I know I don't _have_ to do anything, but I'm going to."

"You're a good guy, Eric."

"You're not so bad yourself, little devil."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you right away," she said so quickly that Eric could hardly make out what she was saying, "I just was so overwhelmed and I-

"Hey, no, it's okay. You didn't have to tell me until you were ready to. _I'm_ sorry that I didn't let you tell me on your own time."

"It's fine. If you hadn't figured it out I probably would've waited until it looked like I shoved a watermelon down my top."

"You know," Eric said tentatively, "Donna and I used to joke about whether I would accidentally get her pregnant or Hyde would accidentally get you pregnant first."

Jackie was silent for a minute, and Eric worried that he had said the wrong thing, and if he should just avoid mentioning Hyde around Jackie in general for the time being.

"Well," she said quietly, "I guess Hyde and I won."

"Yeah," he said with just the tiniest hint of a smile on his face, "I guess you two did."


End file.
